Teaching is hard…
Lately, I have been thinking this thought a lot. I think that I just usually have the same
thought around this time of year.
Motivating students is always hard.
The holidays are coming. The
first quarter honeymoon period has ended for everyone. And the students I have always start trying
to push boundaries really hard. I am
trying to stay positive. I am even
reading Dale Carnegie’s book on how to stop worrying, but there have been days
lately where motivating myself has been a real challenge.
This week hasn’t helped much. I had a ton to get completed this week: Interims, lessons, grading completed, write
my script for the soccer banquet, attend the soccer banquet and give my speech
(which was really enjoyable), and not to mention trying to get ready for the
holidays. Yesterday was pretty much a
meltdown in all the sense of the word, many students were acting out, the video
I have used for years by PBS and was there a month ago was no longer there, and
the packet I had created to build knowledge around the video was then not worth beans. I felt like crawling in a hole yesterday, but
of course that wasn’t an option. I
trudged through my lesson and then had to find another video to try to piece my
lesson back together for the rest of the day.
Everything I tried to do yesterday really didn’t work. I had to cover a class during a planning
period and I also spent my lunch finishing up my interims. Then after school I had to finish writing my
script for the banquet, but when I did finish the room where the printer was
located was locked and I needed to find someone with a key to open it. At least when I went to the banquet
everything pretty much ran smoothly.
Today was better, but mentally I am tired. It is hard to constantly be the one who keeps
students on task and motivated. It
sometimes feels like I am the only motivating factor for all 111 of us. It is just exhausting. I always thought that as time went on that it
would get easier, but it really has not.
Something things have like my ability to plan a lesson is much quicker
now, but in terms of dealing with people it is pretty much the same. I used to wonder when I was in school why
some teachers were kind of grumpy people, but now on the other side I know how
hard this can be.
The thing I think most people need to keep in mind when we
are discussing education in general is that teachers are people to. We spend lots of time worrying about
everything and just trying to do a good job.
But sometimes everything just kind of runs over us like a tsunami
overtakes a beach. It takes a toll and
some days I feel like I just have to fake it so I don’t cast a shadow over the students
who are sitting in my class. My
cooperating teacher back when I was student teaching once told me that as long
as the good days out number the bad days that teaching will always be worth
it. I keep trying to remember that I do
have joy doing this job I just have to find it again on a regular basis.
I sometimes get sad when students struggle with what we are
trying to do. I suppose that all
students struggle on a regular basis if we as teachers are doing it right. We are supposed to push their boundaries, but
sometimes I worry about their reading levels.
Today we used the book to find information for an activity where they
could use their table group to find the information on Washington’s presidency
and they struggled and needed a lot of help from me. I suppose it might have been the general
questions I wrote that were not just simple hunt and find, but some summary
skills needed. I also think the book we have is too hard for
them, but I had hoped that by now with all the work I had done with them in
reading they would be able to do it well. I do know that they always struggle with vocabulary not only from an academic standpoint, but from a general standpoint as well. My para’s all said the activity was great for
all of the students, but there were times I wasn’t so sure. One said she really liked how I put the
questions on the board and expected them to talk it out because it helped the students
on IEPs.
I tried being a cheerleader for as
many of them as I could, but again when kids constantly are asking you if they
found the right answer it is just draining.
I hope I kept them moving along.
I guess at the beginning of the year they wouldn’t have even tried the
activity because it would have been too hard.
So there is that. I keep hoping I
am making a difference in how they read, but days like today make me wonder how
much impact I really am having.
Well, for everyone who frequents my blog
looking for an upbeat passage I am sorry I just needed to process some things
from the last few days. Carnegie said
that getting things out even in writing helps and today I needed all the help I
could get. On a positive note I am going
to put down a couple things that were good that happened to remind myself of
the good I did accomplish:
1.
I had a
student tell me she really liked doing the SOLE and built 4 separate ppts to
help share with her group over the weekend we did it.
2.
I had a student this week thank me for allowing
her to think her beliefs. She struggled
to find the words at first, but when she gathered her thoughts she said that
most adults and teachers keep telling her that what she thinks about Ferguson
is wrong. Or that they try to impose their
viewpoint on them. She basically thanked
me for being different. She was
impressed that I had asked her questions about things that I wasn’t sure I had
fully figured out yet, but she had an opinion on. We all kind of worked through it together. The discussion that class and I had about it
was one that just kind of tried to piece some of the events together and let them
come to a conclusion. Her comments
really warmed my heart.
3.
At the beginning of the year I had a principal
come tell me that a student she had a conversation with and was having some
troubles told her that he wanted all new teachers except for me. I was interesting and enjoyable.
4.
I had several people tell me at the banquet tell
me that they really enjoyed my presentation and that I was a great public
speaker. Sometimes I forget how much I
enjoy talking in front of people. And,
apparently, people like listening to me.
So all in all, after writing all this out, I guess I am doing
ok. I just got to try to make sure I
keep my head on straight. If any of you
out there are also having a rough time this year maybe my story today will
remind you that you are not alone.
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